Getting Established

These last few months I haven’t spent much time blogging, I’ve still been settling in, getting things arranged. Building a life in a new place. I decided to give a little time and attention to myself, make a doctor’s appointment, and get the “full work up.” It’s been a while and I’m past 40 and from here on out, I’m told, you want a good doctor. Naturally, it took an appointment to make an appointment. I had to get “established” first, that’s doctor speak for pay twice. Then the doctor ordered a bunch of blood tests since I’d been having some weird symptoms. Every week or so, I’d feel terrible, like the worst flu of my life. Joint pain, headache, high fever and trouble breathing. Since I enjoy breathing, I thought it warranted some checking into after I got established (you’re a nobody until you’re established).

They prodded my veins and tested me for Lyme, Rocky Mountain Fever, Parvo and a few auto immunes, for good measure. What do you know, Parvo turned up? Of all things, the one virus I neither suspected nor had a clue what it was.

Turns out animals get Parvo and can die from the virus. Humans get it too, although I’ve never met another living soul with it. But in case you’ve got some weird symptoms and feel like you might die, just know, like most things in life, there’s not a darn thing you can do about it and it lasts six weeks.

When I told a friend’s mother I had Parvo she said, “That’s what dogs get,” then leaned closer and asked with a grin, “Are you a B?” Her question, and my friend’s raised eyebrows, made me smile. This brightly dressed older lady was a spunky sort, out on the town with her oxygen tank in tow, and a cute haircut. A fighter, I suspect. A grandma who has been there and done that and has had to overcome a few things too. I love those grandmas. And yeah, I am tough. I looked Parvo in the eye and said, not this December, I’ve got way to much to do.

I’m happy to say I’m Parvo free now and loving life. No more joint attacks or sudden urges to crawl into bed and never get out. And that’s a good thing because New Year’s is on the way and so is my annual Christmas clean up I look forward to every January 1st. After a month of garland, lights and well, clutter, okay, I said it, maybe I don’t need four Santa’s standing in my living room; I get OCD. Thing is, this year I heard about Dillard’s “Everything 50% off Sale” on January 1st, which kind of throws a wrench in my plan. It all started today while browsing in the makeup department. A bored saleslady cornered me and gave me the scoop–told me I needed a strategy. Be there at 8:30, (store opens at 9), and get in position at one of three entry doors, (she pointed them out like a seasoned flight attendant). “You’ve got to BE READY TO RUN,” she said.

“Run?” I asked.

“RUN,” she nodded, “you’ve got to run to the item you want before everyone else gets there.”

She advised me to have a couple of friends come along, to help try and grab the item, (mentally I’m seeing the year of the Cabbage Patch stampede, folks wrestling doll babies, people getting smacked down with handbags—I’m thinking are we really going back there?). Her eyes spoke complete seriousness. “Have a friend stand in line. It will take a good 45-minutes at the cashier. FYI the limit for purses is six per person,” and looking at Maggie she solemnly added, “It’s not a place you want to bring children.”

I’m ready to leave but she has more.

“There are shoe people and purse people and clothes people and Christmas ornament people. You’ve got to know what you want.” With a crazed look in her eye she whispers, “The Christmas ornaments go fast.” Then with more head nodding she points to herself, “I’m one of those people.”

I thank her for the info and head fast to Barnes and Noble, cause I’m one of THOSE people.

I’m torn now, stay at home and do my annual Christmas clean up or risk stampede?

But that’s a question for another day…my boys are paintballing somewhere in the hills of St. George; Maggie is contentedly “shopping,” with her friend in the living room, playing store with Christmas presents they can “buy” all over again. And this long overdue blog post is done. Mama is going to sip her tea with her feet on the furniture and read her new book, “What Alice Forgot.” Merry Christmas to me. And Merry Christmas to you!

(artwork by Maggie Grace)



4 Comments on “Getting Established

  1. Me too–never heard of human Parva. Sounds like a great twist for a character in my next novel.

    BTW, kudos to you for modeling citations to your daughter–giving her credit for the drawing. If we start them early understanding that online media isn’t free, they’ll get it by the time it matters.

    • Definitely a twist. Make sure the joint attack and flu like symptoms take place when the character is the most busy. Like holiday time;)

  2. I told you this in a text that never arrived – Lost in Space? – but, the humor in your writing is sublime. I giggle, laugh, and snort when reading your observations! If only the 50% off sale was at Barnes and Noble; I’m pretty sure I know where you’d be on January 1. As for me, I’ll be at home, watching bowl games on TV, ’cause I’m that kind of girl!

    • Thank you Elisabeth for getting my humor. Hee hee. If you were here I’d drag you along simply for spectator sake. I’ll be reporting live on Jan 1.

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